I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize