dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
