glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
