Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
