as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
