we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
