Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
