She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
