He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
