I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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