honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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