My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
