During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
