im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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