Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
