My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
