i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
