If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
