Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize