she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
