thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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