Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
