just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
