Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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