I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
