he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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