i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Randomize
