kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
i think my cat just said my name.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize