Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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