What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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