my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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