What did we do last night that was yellow?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
