Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
