You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
