Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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