my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize