I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
