sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
i believe in u and ur pee
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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