You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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