I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
