Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
