I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
