Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
