Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize