Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i just had sex bonerless
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
