So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
