I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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