Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
