there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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