Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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