Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize