me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
