I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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