i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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