this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize