You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
