I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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