these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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