dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
