How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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