I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize