All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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