We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
