the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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