i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Randomize
